


Ten Long Months

by BCBoo



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:32:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BCBoo/pseuds/BCBoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny has been undercover for ten months. He's finally back in New York and there's only one person he wants to see. He just hopes too much hasn't changed.</p><p>Chapter 2 added: Barba's side of the last ten months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After yesterdays fic I needed to write something happier.

It’s had been a long ten months since Sonny had left New York. He’d gone undercover for what was meant to be a local operation for week at the most. They had stumbled across something much bigger than NYPD could handle and before Sonny had a chance to think he’d been taken over by the FBI, he was leaving the city and Sonny Carisi no longer existed. He hadn’t had a chance to let his family know he was going. He wondered almost every day what they were thinking, he knew neither the NYPD or FBI would tell them anything. More than that he wondered what Rafael was thinking. He would at least know he was undercover even though he wouldn’t know where or who with.

Their relationship couldn’t have been better before he left. They had kept it secret for the first thirteen months, but their friends and family had by then known about them for almost a year. Most people were fine with it and they’d chosen not to waste their time with people who weren’t. 

They had agreed to move in together, into Rafael’s apartment, and Sonny had already handed in his notice to his landlord. Rafael was also getting ready to propose. He didn’t think Sonny knew but Rafael had an almost obsessive urge to write everything down. It was useful for his job but he wouldn’t have been happy to know Sonny had accidently come across a notebook with a page entitled “Proposal Ideas”. Last he saw Rafael had at least five conflicting ideas, Sonny had no idea which one would win out.

But then he was gone. He assumed the move still happened and guiltily wondered how mad Rafi had been when he saw how much packing still needed to be done. Sonny had kept claiming he’d done much more packing than he had, he hated packing.

Sonny had accidentally seen Rafael about eight months ago in Chicago. It was a normal day for Sonny, or Jack Ferraro as he was now known. He was walking down the street minding his own business waiting to hear from his current boss when across the road he saw Rafael. It took every ounce of strength not to go over and embrace him. He couldn’t of course. He turned around and followed Rafi for a moment, briefly considering turning up at his hotel later that evening but sense got the better of him and he carried on with his day. He still wondered why Rafael had been in Chicago in the first place, it had never been on any of his holiday destination lists.

But now here he was, Friday night back on the streets of New York. It seemed cliché but smell of the city felt like home. 

The operation had been a resounding success but it was over almost as quickly as it had begun. The FBI had debriefed him and all but dumped him on the streets. 

He hadn’t had a chance to shave so he had a fair amount of stubble. His hair had grown long with no sign of his signature gelled back look. He didn’t have his phone or wallet; last he knew both were at the precinct where he’d left them when it was only supposed to be a quick stint undercover. He knew his stuff will have been locked away by Liv as the commanding officer and it was late, chances are she’d be home by now. He didn’t want to see anyone but Rafael at this point, even his family could wait. He had some change on him, enough to get the subway home.

+++++++

He left the subway and walked the familiar streets to Rafael’s apartment, his apartment too now. He couldn’t help but smile. When he got to the building and let himself in with the familiar lock code. He took the elevator up to their floor and all but ran to the door. Sonny took a breath then knocked, he could barely contain his excitement. The door opened…and it wasn’t Rafael. It was a women Sonny had never seen before. He wondered briefly if his memory was failing him and he’d got the apartment number wrong.

“Erm, I’m looking for Rafael Barba?” The woman looked at him quizzically.

“Who? Oh, he moved out about seven or eight months ago.” Sonny was shocked.

“Do you have a forwarding address?”

“Sorry no.” And that was all she seemed willing to say. She shut the door on the confused detective.

Sonny left the building and wondered what to do now. He didn’t have enough money on him to go anywhere else by subway or taxi. Liv’s apartment was the closest to where he was now. He really didn’t want to disturb her or wake up Noah but he needed to see Rafael tonight and Liv would certainly know where he was now. So he set off. It was a long walk but worth it.

+++++++++

He knocked on Liv’s door, not too loud so not to wake Noah. As he waited he hoped she hadn’t moved as well, ten months is a long time. Thankfully she hadn’t, she opened the door with a huge smile.

“Carisi! I didn’t know you were back.” She gestured for him to come in.

“I’ve only been back a couple of hours officially.” He walked into the apartment and almost fell over toy fire engine. 

“Sorry about that, I haven’t had a chance to tidy up yet.” She closed the front door “Do you want a drink?”

“No thank you, I can’t stay long, I just wondered if you know where Rafi is? I went to his apartment and met the new tenant.” Liv laughed lightly.

“Of course, let me get you the address.” She went to get a pen and paper “So how are you?” Liv had enough experience to know not to ask specifics about the last ten months.

“Glad to be back. How’s everyone? How’s Rafi been?” Sonny was desperate to know the answer to the latter. Liv came back with the address.

“Oh we’re all fine, we’ll catch you up soon enough. Rafi will just be glad to see you.” She smiled. “I’ve put the code to get in the building on there as well. Rafi doesn’t answer the buzzer.” Sonny looked at the address, it was too far to walk. 

“I don’t suppose I could borrow some money for a taxi? My wallet is still at the precinct.”

“Not a problem.” Liv grabbed her purse and gave him a couple of notes. “Will I see you Monday?”

“I was thinking of taking a week or two off, it’s been a pretty intense year.”

“Ok, well you let me know when you’re ready to come back. Now off you go, Rafi will never forgive me if he finds out I kept you.” She smiled warmly. “It’s good to see you Sonny.”

“You too Liv. Thank you for this.” He gave her a hug and left.

++++++++

Sonny hailed a cab. The journey took what felt like an eternity. They pulled up in front of Sonny’s new home. As before he let himself in and headed to the apartment. He paused again outside the door. He could feel his heart beating wildly. He took a deep breath and knocked.

It felt like another eternity waiting for Rafael to answer the door. Sonny briefly wondered what he would do if Rafi was already in bed and hadn’t heard him. Then he heard the lock open, and saw the door handle move. His heart stopped. 

The door opened and there he was. Rafael Barba. He hadn’t changed. The smile on his face had been haunting Sonny’s dreams. 

Neither of them moved, neither knew what to say. They’d both imagined this moment for months but nothing they could imagine could compare to what they were feeling at this moment.

Sonny broke the silence.

“You moved.” He said accusingly.

“I did. To be fair you left me first.” Rafael fired back with a smirk.

“It wasn’t like that...” 

Rafael laughed. “I’m only teasing. So are you going to come in or do you want me to carry you over the threshold or something?” Sonny looked like he was considering that option so Rafael grabbed his shirt and in one swift movement pulled him into the apartment and closed the door. He pulled Sonny close and wrapped one arm around his waist, his other hand he put over Sonny’s heart, feeling it beating. Sonny wrapped his arms around Rafi and held him tight. They kissed passionately, all the emotions of the last ten months came pouring out in that kiss. 

They paused, partly for breath partly so they could see each other, take it all in. Rafael brushed Sonny’s hair off his face and tucked it behind his ear.

“I like the hair.” Sonny laughed.

“Really? Three years on and you still manage to surprise me Rafi.” 

“Three years and one day, you missed our anniversary again.” Sonny had missed their first anniversary working on a particularly urgent case. Rafael hadn’t minded as he knew how important that was. He missed their second anniversary because he was on a training course, Rafi had been annoyed at that one but Sonny had more than made it up to him, that was when they decided to live together.

“I know, but this time it’s the FBI’s fault.”

“Yeah yeah, it’s always someone else fault. How’re you going to make it up to me this time?” There was a pause.

“Marry me?” Sonny hadn’t planned to propose, and certainly not as bluntly as that but it just seemed right. Rafi playfully scolded him.

“That was supposed to be my line.”

“I know; I saw your notebo…” Something moving across the room caught Sonny’s eye. “What is that?” He pulled away from Rafael slightly.

“That? Oh, I got a dog. We must have woken her.” A black greyhound strolled across the room to them. 

“You got a dog? You, Rafael Barba?” Sonny hadn’t been this surprised for a long time. When he met Rafael his home was meticulously neat. He soon learnt that was because he was barely ever in it, spending most of his time at work or in bars and restaurants. Even when the relationship progressed and they both spent time at the apartment Rafi always liked things just so, a pet was never an option for that Rafi. Sonny crouched down and reached out to pet her.

“This is Rocky; she’s kept me company while you’ve been gone.” Sonny stroked the top of Rocky’s head, she seemed quite content with him.

“Rocky?” Sonny looked up a Rafi with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t pick the name; it was her racing name. Yes, by the way.” Sonny stood up again, Rocky took the opportunity to lean against the both of them.

“Yes?”

“Yes I’ll marry you Dominick Carisi.” They kissed again. “Unfortunately I drunk the bottle of champagne I had brought to celebrate our engagement when you left so we’ll have to find another way to celebrate.”

“You drank a bottle of champagne because I left?”

“Well I’d finished the scotch, and the vodka, and the rest. It was the only alcohol left in the apartment.” Rafael looked sad for a moment. “Don’t leave me again like that, I didn’t cope well.”

“You want to tell me about it?” Sonny cupped Rafi’s face with one hand and stroked his cheek with his thumb. Rafi reached up and took his hand.

“Tomorrow, or maybe later, but not now. We’ve got ten months to make up for.” He smiled again and leaned in to kiss his fiancé. As they both stumbled towards the bedroom Rocky took the hint and went for a nap on the now vacant sofa.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea ages ago and wanted to get it out before episode 22, just made it.

It was Friday night and Rafael Barba was sitting at home making notes on a case file. Rocky, his black greyhound was on the sofa next to him and had her head resting on his thigh.

He turned a page and sighed. He hated Friday nights now. Ten months ago Friday was date night. He and Sonny would stay in and cook for each other. Sonny was quite open about how much he loved to cook and in Rafael’s opinion Sonny cooked the best pasta in New York. Early in the relationship Sonny was surprised to learn Rafael was quite talented at Cuban cooking having been taught by his Abuela when he was young. Rafael craved a Sonny cooked meal like nothing else, he’d had even dreamt about it. Now Fridays were usually just him and Rocky. He put down the case file officially giving up for the night.

Wistfully he looked over at the bottle of scotch on the side. It was so tempting to pour himself a large double and drink the night away but he’d done that more than enough when Sonny had first gone undercover. It had taken all his will power not to do that yesterday. It would have been their third anniversary and for the third year in a row Rafael had spent the day without Sonny. Work seemed to get in the way every year.

The first year Rafael had been so excited, it had been many years since he’d celebrated an anniversary. He’d brought a video game Sonny had been dropping hints about for weeks and a signed copy of one of his favourite books as presents. They weren’t planning to do much, another night in and Sonny was going to cook. But even a simple plan that was exciting as long as Sonny was there. About mid-afternoon he’d received a phone call from Sonny explaining he had to work that night. Rafael knew about the case, he’d be the one prosecuting it after all, it was a particularly violent rapist who seemed to be in the middle of a spree so he knew he couldn’t be upset about Sonny blowing him off to catch this man. The squad did catch the rapist thankfully and two days after their anniversary Sonny turned up at Rafael’s apartment with his presents, a matching tie and suspenders set and a coffee gift box. Sonny had the next day off and Rafael did the unthinkable, he pulled a sickie to spend the day in bed with Sonny.

The second year a badly timed out of town training course organised by the NYPD took Sonny away. As soon as the course was over Sonny was at Rafael’s apartment again. While they were having dinner Sonny pointed out he hadn’t spent the night in his own apartment for more than a month now. He’d joked he was paying rent on some very expensive storage space. Rafi pointed out how stupid this was and told him to just move in already. They started planning the move quite quickly after that but Sonny kept delaying the move in date. At first Rafael worried he was having second thoughts but he later found out it was because despite Sonny’s assurances that the packing at his apartment was going well it in fact wasn’t.

Sonny had gone undercover a week after handing in his notice to his landlord. At first Rafael thought Sonny would be back with a fortnight to spare till his lease was up but when Liv informed him Sonny wasn’t coming back any time soon (and wouldn’t tell him much else) Rafi had to tackle the apartment himself. He went over with a few boxes to see how far Sonny had got and was dismayed to see barely any packing had been done at all. There were a couple of full boxes in the kitchen, most of Sonny’s clothes were already at Rafael’s and what was left was already in a suitcase. There was an empty box next to a pile of video games and dvd’s and that was it. Rafael cursed Sonny in both Spanish and English before going out to get more boxes. 

The next day he was almost done packing the bathroom, muttering to himself about the ridiculous amount of hair products his boyfriend owned when Sonny’s parents turned up. They’d never really liked Rafael to begin with but when Rafi couldn’t tell them where their son was and when he’d be back the relationship had taken a turn for the worse. He tried to calmly explain it was the nature of the job but they’d somehow managed to twist it so that it was Rafael’s fault. That had been the first thing to go wrong since Sonny left.

Even though he’d ending up moving his absent boyfriend into his apartment alone it had been a useful distraction. He spent all of his free time packing, unpacking and reorganising. He had wondered how he’d fit another person’s life into the apartment he’d filled as a single man for so many years but it surprised him to see how well Sonny’s stuff fit in. He scolded himself for thinking something so cheesy but it was like it was meant to be. 

Once he was done he sat back and wondered what he would do now. Work was work, that was easy time to fill, but what about after work? Spending evenings and weekends alone no longer held the same appeal it had when he was single. He’d chosen to have a drink, then another one, and another. The next thing he remembered his alarm was going off and he was buying a gallon of coffee on the way to work.

That became an unfortunate routine quite quickly. Rafael would later kick himself for falling into it so easily. After a couple of weeks, after he’d drunk the apartment almost dry, he couldn't bear drinking at home alone anymore so started going out to bars, there were quite a few in the area so the one thing he didn't lack was choice. He came home one night after some particularly heavy drinking to find his apartment had been broken into. The three men were unfortunately still there. They worked for a trafficker Rafael was getting ready to prosecute and had broken in to wreck the place and send Rafael a clear message to back off the case, they hadn't planned on the lawyer turning up. They took the opportunity to send a more personal message. By morning Rafael had two broken ribs, more bruises than he could count, a seriously sprained ankle and concussion. The apartment had been ransacked, picture frames holding precious memories destroyed, books with chunks pf pages torn out, Sonny’s extensive video game a dvd collection scattered and most likely scratched beyond reasonable use, the stuffed puppy dog toy Rafael had brought Sonny after their sixth date because it reminded him of Sonny ripped in half. He laid there for who knows how long in agony trying to make sense of what had happened in his still slightly drunk mind. He eventually reached for his mobile to call for help only to find it smashed next to the upturned coffee table. Rafael slowly and painfully dragged himself up off the floor and hobbled to his home phone. The ambulance came blessedly quickly and the police were quick and efficient. The connection to Rafael’s case was made and by the end of the following day the men were under arrest.

Walking back into the apartment after leaving the hospital was heart-breaking. A few weeks ago it was going to be a new start for him and Sonny but now it was a reminder of the worst night of his life. His mother had been over and started the clean-up but it was still a mess. There was a blood stain on the sofa that seemed to be being quite stubborn. He limped to the kitchen to get a bin bag to carry on cleaning up, Rafael knew he should be resting but how could he rest in this chaos. His mother had already sorted most of the kitchen, a box of broken glass was on the side ready to be disposed of. He sighed at the sight of a smashed bottle of vodka he’d only just brought, a drink right now would be good. Rafael opened the cupboard that he kept the cleaning products in and noticed something in a bag hidden away he’d forgotten about. It was a bottle of champagne, very expensive champagne. Rafael had brought it a few days after Sonny had agreed to move in. He had decided to propose once Sonny had moved in if only he could figure out how. The only thing he had decided on was the bottle of champagne they would use to celebrate. He stared at the bottle for a few minutes before deciding what the hell, Sonny wasn’t coming back any time soon, it seemed such a waste to leave it hidden away.

Rafael’s drinking routine didn’t change after the attack, if anything it got worse. One night just over a week later he got so drunk the bartender wouldn't let him leave alone. Rafael tried, and failed to assure the man he was ok to stagger home but his voice was so slurred and he was swaying so much the bartender insisted on calling someone. Rafael reluctantly gave him his phone. The last number he had called had been Olivia. She did pick up the phone thankfully, as the next to last call was to the DA, but as it was late she couldn't come and get him. Much as she cared for Rafael she wasn't about to drag Noah to a bar in the middle of the night. She instead sent Mike Dodds who was just coming off a late shift. 

Rafael hadn't been impressed when Mike turned up and all but dragged him home but in hindsight it had been a blessing. It turned out Mike had been in the same situation as Rafael a few years ago when his girlfriend had gone undercover for 18 months but he never normally talked about it. He came by the following morning with a coffee and a bacon bap and Rafael ending up opening up to the Sergeant. Having someone to talk to that understood everything Rafael was feeling had pretty much saved his life. 

Mike continued to be supportive and as Rafael learned more of his story he knew he could survive whatever life threw at him until Sonny got home. Mike confided in Rafael that his girlfriend had died while undercover in a hit and run of all things. She was putting her life in danger every day and in the end a drunk driver had got her. That revelation had shaken Rafael free of his self-pitying cycle.

Rafael realised he needed to change something, at the rate he was going by the time Sonny came back he would have drunk himself into a gutter. The first thing he decided he needed was distance. He packed a bag, went to the airport and booked himself onto the next available flight. He didn’t really care where it went as long as it was out of New York. That was how he found himself on a flight to Chicago. He didn’t do much while he was there. He spent a week wondering around the city during the day and having the best night’s sleep he’d in months at night. While there Rafael decided he needed to move, he couldn’t stay in that apartment anymore. It wasn’t an easy decision as Sonny wouldn’t know where he was when he did come home but as he didn’t know if that would be in a month or a year Rafael knew he couldn’t wait.

Rafael didn’t waste any time when he got back to New York. He went apartment hunting the day after he got home. The apartment wasn’t as painful to be in now he knew he was leaving it behind. Rafael quickly found an apartment he thought Sonny would like and was extremely grateful the previous tenants had already left so he could move in straight away. Rafael also started replacing items that had been damaged, he was making good head way with the list of DVDs and games but the more personal items were harder to replace.

Life settled down again almost as quickly as it had sped up. Rafael returned to work and settled back into that routine very easily. He still had the occasional drink but nothing like he had drunk before. 

Once the apartment was sorted Rafael knew there was still something missing other than Sonny. A childhood memory flashed into his mind, him and pet dog, a greyhound called Arnold whom as a boy he had loved. Even when his father was on the rampage he always had his pet to rely on, someone who would hide with him until the rampage was over. After Arnold died of old age they’d never replaced him and he’d never really thought of getting a pet again once he became so career focused. But maybe that was what this empty apartment needed, it would be nice to have someone to come home to even if it wasn’t Sonny. Rafael did his research and ended up adopting Rocky who was a retired race dog. It was a perfect fit. She was gentle, well trained, always happy to see him and never happier than when she fell asleep leaning on him. After a couple of months Rafael wondered why he hadn’t done this years ago.

++++++

Rafael sighed again and stroked Rocky. So here he was, he’d been in a relationship for three years and a day but hadn’t seen his boyfriend for ten months. This certainly wasn’t the way he’d pictured his life going. He glanced at the scotch again. No, not this time. Instead of falling into old habits he took Rocky for a walk. She was his useful distraction now.

The walk was uneventful. He politely nodded at a couple of fellow dog walkers he saw every evening but that was it. Those were the walks he loved, it completely cleared his head. When he got back he put the bottle of scotch away and helped himself to a hand full of mini pretzels. Rocky had gone to lie down on her bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Rafael couldn’t help but chuckle at her, he wished he fell asleep that quickly. He looked around the apartment and wondered what to do now. It was quite late, he could follow Rocky’s lead and go to bed? That seemed like the best option. He tidied up the papers he was working on earlier and put them away neatly. Another quick look around the apartment to make sure he hadn’t left anything out Rocky could mistake for a midnight snack and then he headed to the bedroom. Just as he got there there was a knock at the front door.

Rafael froze, no-one had buzzed from the front of the building, he didn’t really know any of his neighbours, he especially didn’t know any of them well enough for them to be knocking at this time of night. A tiny voice in the back of his mind wondered if it was a ruse to get him to answer the door so he could be attacked again, he hadn’t felt one hundred percent safe anywhere since his attack. He ignored that voice and went to look through the peep hole. The sight that greeted him made him audibly gasp. It took a second to convince himself he wasn’t seeing things. Rafael fumbled with the lock and opened the door. He wasn’t seeing things, it was Sonny, his Sonny was home. He was unshaven and scruffy but Rafael didn’t care. For the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say, luckily Sonny always had something to say.

“You moved.”


End file.
